They're Just Not That Into You

You know what is so funny about wedding planning? It seems like every day I am faced with something I never thought I would have to deal with. That’s not always bad; it’s just that before I was actually engaged, all I really thought about was the fun fluffy stuff — dresses, rings, flowers, etc. I didn’t focus on things like logistics or what flowers were in season.

One thing I never expected to deal with were unresponsive vendors. To my unpracticed wedding-planning mind it seemed illogical that I would ever run into a vendor that literally did not communicate at all.

Source.

I mean, they WANT my business… right? Well, apparently this is not always true. I think the craziest instance of this was when I was interviewing florists.

A friend of mine got married last year, and I was very lucky to be in her wedding. She told me how her florist was great, reasonably priced, and passed on her information to me. So I emailed the florist, and she was very enthused, and when we finally met when she dropped off the flowers for my friend’s wedding, it was like the best version of the “putting a face to a name” conversation. Not only that, the bridal bouquet was gorgeous and our bridesmaids bouquets were amazing and perfectly complimentary. I was impressed! It ended with me saying, “Well, this is my friend’s day, so let’s talk next week!” She said that was great, and we agreed to chat later.

Next week came. She asked me to list my ideas and inspirations. She was seemingly jazzed about everything and said that she was going to take my lists and come back to me with some ideas by the weekend.

The weekend came… and went. And I didn’t want to be cranky. I mean, life happens, and I knew I was more anxious just to see some ideas, and not really upset at her for not getting back to me by her proposed timeline. Also, I did not want to be that bride.

I decided to let a few more days pass. A few days turned into a week because I was in the throes of writing a term paper for class! After it dawned on me that it had been over a week and a half since I was supposed to have heard from her. I dropped her a friendly line, and she replied. She was so sorry, and she would absolutely have something to me within the next three days.

And that was the last time I heard from her. Ever.

I emailed her a few times. Very friendly emails, without the slightest hint of an accusatory tone. Just shooting up a few flares saying, hey, how’s it going? Looking forward to hearing from you. Still nothing. Eventually it was just too much, and I had to write the diplomatic, “It’s not me, it’s you” email.

Even that went with no response.

Honestly, I was a bit sad because, at first, we really seemed to click. Did I do something wrong? Had I eaten too much garlic and scared her off? I didn’t think I was being unreasonable, and I started to wonder if my artichoke request was a bit too much.

It felt a bit like getting dumped, and that’s such a weird feeling when you’re planning a wedding! I remember talking to the same friend who got married. She told me how, when she was planning, she could not get a venue to respond to her. She likened getting a response from them to pulling teeth. Eventually she and her fiance opted to go elsewhere.

Have you felt at all this way during wedding planning? Has there been an unexpected disappointment with vendors? What do you do when they’re just not that into you?

Yes, I am a Vender Stalker...

I came across this post on Weddingbee and realized that it has been a while since I cyber-stalked my venues. I am a mad-lady at stalking my photographer and band, but its been a while since I have googled, "Glen Echo Park" and"wedding." I found the greatest photos of recent weddings on-line last night that I thought I would share with you all. Looking at them just makes me fall in love with our venues all over again. (All three above taken by Michelle Lindsey Photography)

The couple below also used our ceremony venue. I am so in awe and envy of the decor and professional design of this wedding. THIS is how you do the Bumper Car Pavilion.

(Photos taken by Kristen Leigh)

Although we will not be using the carousel, I love it dearly...I am so sad that it will be closed for our wedding.

(Blink Photography)

No matter what, however, I am just happy to have found this place. I mean, come on, who could resist pictures like this...

(Documentary Associates)

So, what about you guys? Vendor or venue stalking?

A Pocket Full of Poseys...

(Source) Or rather, a bouquet full of roses is what I'm talking about! Our lovely florists, Atelier Floral Design, put up some photos on their Facebook fanpage from a wedding they did at Glen Echo Park over the summer and I started squealing! It made me SO excited about my wedding. The pictures totally inspired me to share with you guys what I am hoping to see in March.

(Courtesy of Steve O'Toole Photography)

When planning this wedding, the ONE thing (out of many...tee hee) that I HAD to have was real flowers. Not trying to knock anyone that uses silk or other fake flowers, but it's just not my thing. Soon after discovering wedding blogs, I stumbled across Saipua and was floored by Sara's ability to make flowers look wild and put together at the same time. Her blog, along with a huge list of others, have fed my total obsession with all things floral.

Below are a few ideas for my bouquet. We are using garden roses, anemones and berries in hues of peach, ivory, green and white. I want the look of peonies, but cannot afford them. Rachel and Jennifer will use large peach garden roses to give the look of peonies, but without the cost (SCORE!).

(Source)(Source)

For the bride's attendants, I have asked for purple bouquets. The flowers will be similar to those within my bouquet, but using a mix of lavender and deep purple hues.
(Source) For the centerpieces, there will be a mixture of tall arrangements resembling the second photo above with mini tea light holders hanging from the branches. We will also have clusters of ball jars with green, peach and lavender arrangements. Our third centerpiece will be books with a flower arrangement on top or surrounding them.

(Courtesy of a lovely bride whose image I saved and did not write down the location of this picture for, please comment of this is your image and I will properly credit you)(Source)

Rachel and Jennifer will also hang paper lanterns for us inside of the bumper car pavilion. A sprig of lavender at each place setting will add a little extra piece of loveliness to the overall table decor.

These two are truly awesome. I emailed them WWWAAAYYY before one even thinks about hiring a florist (in actuality, when Mr. Glen Echo and I met with them, another florist actually turned down my request to meet with her because she said it was too early for me to think about flowers...too bad for her, oops I booked someone else). They were so nice in answering all of my premptive/budget planning questions. When we met in January (yes, they were booked in January, over a year before my wedding) they did not question or hesitate considering my wedding was so far away. In general, they are such nice people, considerate of time (and budget) and did a fantastic job at one of my best friend's wedding this summer. I cannot wait until March when I get to see everything in person! Just 4 months and 2 weeks away!

A cakery with a sour taste

About 2 weeks ago I started contacting Charlottesville cakeries with the hope of scheduling a tasting this coming weekend. My fiance starts his Spring Break this weekend, so the timing was right and I'll be completely absorbed by work next month as it's the month right before my work event (and May just seemed like it was getting much too close to the wedding...*stifling mild scream of anxiety*). I contacted Cakes Unlimited LLC, True Confections by Carlotta, and Albemarle Baking Co. as they were the vendors recommended by Keswick. The first two were wonderful in responding, being open, welcoming, and helpful. We are so excited to meet with them next week. However my experience with Albemarle Baking Co. was very disappointing. ABC said that they had an opening at 8AM or 8:30AM. I asked if they had an opening later in the day as we were driving from 2 hours away and my mother was driving from 3.5 hours away. (And a cake tasting at the crack of dawn just did not sound appetizing at all.) Her response:

Since we start early in the morning, 8:30AM is my last appointment. If you are serious about meeting that day, I can come back to the bakery later that day to meet you around 2PM. Will that work for you?

I was very surprised by her response but gave her the benefit of the doubt, maybe she was having a bad morning, even though it seemed very inappropriate to me. My response:
Good afternoon X,

I am definitely seriously considering Albemarle Baking Company for our wedding cake, that is, if you are not yet booked for August 2, 2009.

I have confirmed with my mother and fiance and you are still available, 2 pm would be a great time to meet. I'm afraid that 8:30 AM would be too early for us to taste the cake and I wouldn't want the early time to affect how we receive it. However, if you much prefer to meet with us on another day, I can let you know when we will be returning to Charlottesville. It will most likely not be until mid-May as I also work events and the last 3 weekends in April are booked for me. . .

I can send you an email later this week with more specifics as to what we are looking for in the cake. Right now, we prefer the square tiers over round and some exotic flavors, like mango, passion fruit, and coffee (but not in the same layer!). . .

ABC responded that they could meet at 2PM but there would be no cake to taste at the bakery. (What kind of bakery doesn't have cake on hand?) BUT, if I wanted to order a cake to sample, it would cost $20-$30. I understand that it's quite expensive to put together a tasting. However, the tone of her response and the overall manner in which she treated me left me with a very sour taste in my mouth. In the end, a hair and makeup artist I'd contacted said she was available to meet at 1:00PM, so we ended up taking her appointment. I let ABC know that our plans had changed, but if we were still looking for cake bakers in mid-May, perhaps I would contact her when our schedules better align.

Hopefully things will work out this weekend . . . but now I have minor cake another minor crisis to tend to. . .

Bella Bridesmaid

So I had finally decided on the flower girl dress, and Dessy design. The next step was to find where had it for the best price. I wanted to make it as cost effective as possible for her parents. On the Dessy website, I found about 5 boutiques in the area (MD, DC, & NoVA), and I started calling. I found the best price at Bella Bridesmaid, located in Baltimore (Federal Hill). This Sunday, I went with my flower girl and her mom to have her fit for the FG dress. The place was very cool, great atmosphere. I'm kind of picky about where I go for wedding-related services. Because, I'm only getting married once, I want a nice experience throughout this planning process, and part of that experience is the environment in which I do business. Bella Bridesmaid was great. We found parking with no problem. The store was very chic, and the owner Tammy, was absolutely wonderful. She was friendly, fully knowledgeable of the designers, the sizes, and her inventory. The store carries bridesmaids dresses by designers such as:

• Dessy (incl. After Six, Alfred Sung, & Lela Rose)
• Elon Michelle
• Eve & Ellie
• Melissa Sweet
• LulaKate Bridal
• Priscilla of Boston
• Vera Wang
• Twobirds

For brides that love tea-length, BM dresses, I noticed a wide assortment of tea-length dresses in gorgeous designs. What was really great about Tammy was that she has a little girl, too, and while fitting my FG, she really made her feel like a little princess. She was just so sweet, tied ribbons in her hair, and gave her a fresh flower to practice her FG duties. My 5 year-old FG was too thrilled! She did this all while taking care of business, and giving much needed guidance on our fabric choices, and what size to order that will best fit this growing child in 3 months.

Though I walked into the store knowing exactly which style FG dress I wanted, she showed me another dress option, with the same price, which was helpful, and let allowed me to make an even more well-informed purchase decision. Tammy and her store manager kept us informed of the designer's shipping dates to ensure that we had an accurate idea of when the dress would arrive, which allowed us to get to the store just in time to have the dress shipped in good time for the wedding.

Overall, I had a great experience at Bella Bridesmaid. My FG felt like a princess and was so excited, it made me very excited about the big day. The 3 of us (FG, me, and her mom) were so glad we went. Though we went in for just the dress, I even ordered the doll-sized miniature of the dress to give FG as a gift at the rehearsal . I was surprised to find that I could order that sort of accessory through the store. I'd been planning on ordering it directly from Dessy online, but this way, I didn't have to pay shipping, and it would be cut from the same dye lot as the dress. I can't wait for both to arrive!

Freaked out over the dress....

Is it me, or is the first question everyone asks is, "So have you gotten your dress?" UGH. The dress. I think every bride gets super excited to go try on dresses. I was not. First of all, I don't look like I want to look at my wedding. I have gained about 25 lbs since I met Mr. CP and the last thing I want is to be disappointed and mad at myself, after seeing a dress on. I seriously put this day off as long as I could. In addition, I invited all 7 of my bridesmaids and Mom CP. She calls me and tells me this is a day for mother and daughter and can I not bring these "people." (She has a Brooklyn attitude, which I have a love at times, but not at this particular moment) So I call my ladies and tell them I am just going with my mom, but I did bring MOH CP, because Mom CP has a history of talking me into things that fit me well but are totally out of style. So the entire process started a little stressful. To top it off, I had NO idea what I liked or wanted. I spent a lot of time online and just couldn't picture myself in anything. At this point, I was convinced I needed something out of the ordinary. Stripes, polka dots, something a little crazy. I made my first appointment at Distinctive Designs, in Maryland. You may know of this shop, because one of the owners, Sandy, was on The Apprentice a few seasons ago. She even made it to the top 3! Also, my matron of honor got her dress there and I loved my bridesmaid dress (also from there).

As I get there at 10:00 I am totally freaked out. What if they don't have any that fit me? What if I cant find one I like? What if they make me look like an elephant? What if this takes 10 trips to 10 stores and I still can not find one I like? I walk in and Sandy comes over right away. She is warm and has a genuineness about her that I liked immediately. She says I look like a deer in headlights. I say. "I have no clue what I want or like..." She gives me a drink and sits me down. She asks if I want to look princess-y. I reply with, "More Red Carpet, Less Princess" With that, Sandy is off! She loads a dressing room with dresses. I take a deep breath and go in.

The very first one I try on makes me feel like royalty. When I see myself, I gasp! My waist looks teeny! WHO KNEW they did that!???! i sure didn't. If I had known that I would try on wedding dresses every day! I feel gorgeous. I am in love. HEAD OVER HEELS IN LOVE! Unfortunately, I feel like I still have to try on more, none of which even hold a match to the first one. Understand, they do not allow pictures until its been purchased.

So we are off to appointment #2. Right away I am not a fan. They had dresses there that totally did not match my style. They also lost my appointment. I had to wait over an hour to be seen, for a rack of dresses I didn't even like. I was so bummed. I still tried on a few. There was literally one dress I liked, mostly because it made me look skinny. My mom loved this dress. It had a gorgeous delicate beading. It just didn't feel like the other one. It looked somewhat like this.

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source

After this, I knew I loved the other dress. So, I go back to Distinctive Designs and try on dress #1 again. I have always been decisive. So I went for it. I bought it! The first dress I ever tried on! What do you think? Isn't so glam!! I love this dress. I love how chic it is and how it will hide armpit fat. I love it in white and I love it on me. I can honestly say, I am THRILLED, despite all my worries, with my dress.

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Did you have any fears about trying on dresses?

Favorite Online Wedding Resources

Just dropping in again! I'm having major computer issues right now and with Christmas right around the corner (and lots of sales at Best Buy) I'm trying to control my urges to get a new blogging device..er, computer!

I was putzing about on The Knot message boards today and I saw an old old old post (ok like 3 months old) about favorite online forums and sites for wedding resources. One bride listed the DC Knottie Vendor reviews and another bride responded saying she had never seen the page! My response: Whhhaaaaa???

But I forget sometimes that I too was once a naive bride, unknowing in the ways of DC vendor reviews, Knottie bios and boards, etc. So I wanted to share a few of my favorites and ask you to share yours in the comments section!

• DC Knottie Vendor Reviews-One of my favorites! This one was particularly invaluable to me when we first started searching for venues because I could see venues that REAL local brides used, what brides thought of the venues, and what type of wedding they had there. Along with the information from the venues themselves, DCKVR really helped Mr. Fairfax and I narrow our list down to just a handful of places we knew it would be worth our time to visit. I have continued to use it as I've looked for other vendors. I'm not sure how often it's updated or how frequently brides add their bios, but most of the reviews are less than 2 years old.
  
• Wedding Wire-One of my married friends tipped me off about Wedding Wire. Personally, I prefer this site to others for searching for any and all vendors available for a particular service. It's a search-able database where you can look up vendors by type (florist, baker, etc) or name. You also type in your zip code so the search returns vendors near your location. Brides are also able to review vendors, but only AFTER using them, so the reviews are from actual customers, not people who "heard" this vendor was "great." The listings are simple, straight-forward and provide information without confusing fluff! I found my photographer and my florist using Wedding Wire.
  
• Indie Bride Kvetch Boards- Love this! Mostly because it's very very VERY easy to search. These are real brides sharing information about all things wedding-related (and some things non-wedding related) with each other. If you're a do-it-yourself-er, definitely check this out as there are lots of crafty chicks on these boards. When we briefly considered getting married in the Outer Banks, this was my #1 source for info because it was one of the only sites I found where I could do a search for "outer banks" and return usable information and real advice from other brides. One of my favorite features are the "Repository" posts where brides share all information on a particular topic. Right now, since I've got invitations on the brain, I'm really into the Invitation Repository where people have shared photos of their invites. There's also a wording repository if you're looking for unique ideas for invitation wording. This board also has a community-oriented, happy-go-lucky vibe, and did I mention it's REALLY easy to search?

What are you favorite wedding resources online? Uh, and if anyone has an advice for how to search for Knottie Bios on The Knot, I'd love to hear it...I still can't figure that out!

6 Months from Saturday?!

Hello, All. After fulfilling my BM duties at a friend's wedding last weekend, I've now been able to focus on my own upcoming nuptials. FI and I realized that our wedding is only 6 months from Saturday! OMG! During the course of our engagement, we've made a good amount of progress, but there is still much to be done. So far we've contracted with just about all of our wedding vendors.

Flowers - Strange's Florist

Bridal Gown - Bella Rosa Bridal

Bridesmaids Attire - RK Bridal and The Columbia Bridal Boutique, design by Alfred Angelo

Bridal Party Makeup - MAC

Attendants' Tuxes - MW Tux

Cake - Cakes by Graham

Wedding Planning - Holy Matrimony, Inc.

Venue - Virginia Crossings Resort

Photography, DJ, Videography - The Pros

Groom's Tux - TBD, but likely to be Sarno & Sons. (Thanks Terry!)

Invitations - TBD

We still have lots of odds and ends to take care of, but I'm certain that we can get it all done. I'm trying to be as strategic as possible, and we plan to purchase all attendants' and family gifts during the upcoming holiday sales. We're taking engagement pics next month (more about that soon). My other upcoming tasks involve purchasing my accessories, program supplies, making honeymoon reservations, sending save-the-dates and deciding on invitations. I'm excited to get it all done. The pressure is definitely on. Out of all my friends, linesisters, family members, and co-workers, I am the next to get married, and everyone keeps reminding me!

Checking Vendor References

Dilbert by Scott Adams via www.stangbangers.com

When I read Miss Cream Puff's post over on Weddingbee the other day about having to break-up with her photographer, I let out a little sigh of relief that I've been checking vendor references all along.

There are scads of articles, threads, posts, etc. out there in wedding-planning-land with great suggestions on what to ask when interviewing potential vendors. I've been using the "What to Ask" Printable Checklists on Real Simple Weddings and they're an excellent guide. However, I haven't seem many resources for collecting references for vendors.

My thought is, in the regular working world you wouldn't hire someone to work for you without checking their references first, so why hire a vendor without checking references?

Thus far, Mr. Fairfax and I have our venue, caterer and photographer contracted and I've checked (or attempted to check) references for each one. Most wedding professionals should be able to provide you with a list of 2-3 couples they have worked with who are willing to act as references. One caveat, the Mr. and I did find in our brief experience that if a venue "moonlights" as a wedding reception hall (i.e. if your venue is really a historic home, that does weddings versus a wedding venue that happens to be a historic home), they are less likely to have references available. But hey, you've always got the The Knot and Wedding Wire to do a very informal check.

I've listed a couple of my standard reference questions below that are generic enough to apply to most vendors.

• How many people did you have at your wedding and what type (indoor, outdoor, formal, casual, etc) of ceremony and reception did you have?

• Who else did you consider and what made you choose [vendor]?

• How was communicating with [vendor]? Did you feel that they were responsive to your e-mails/calls? Was the level of responsiveness consistent throughout the time leading up to your wedding? What about after the wedding?
  

• How flexible/open was [vendor] to changes in your contract once the contract was signed?

• Were there any charges on your bill that came as a surprise or were added at the last minute?

• How would you rate the [vendor's] professionalism, level of service, etc.?

• How would you rate [vendor's] cooperation with your other vendors? Did they facilitate coordination and help everything run smoothly? Were they problematic for your other vendors?

• What do you wish you had discussed with [vendor] prior to the wedding that you did not?

• In hindsight is there anything you would have done differently? Picked another [vendor]? Stipulated a few specific items in the contract, etc?

AND THE MILLION DOLLAR REFERENCE QUESTION:

• If your best friend were getting married, would you recommend [vendor] to her? Would you have any hesitation or reservations about recommending [vendor]?

For us, these questions accomplished a two big things: 1) We knew we would feel more confident about our vendor choices if we got solid references. A reference check can help avoid situations like poor Miss Cream Puff's. 2) We would know our vendors better. Generic example of #2: one reference I got for a vendor mentioned the vendor is MUCH more responsive to phone calls than e-mail. Had I decided to use that vendor I would have been a savvy consumer armed with information about my vendor, rather than a frazzled bride who can't figure out why my vendor won't respond quickly to my e-mails!

I have other caterer/photographer/venue specific questions I'm happy to share if you shoot me an e-mail at [email protected].

Did you do a reference check on your vendors? What questions did you ask?