Real Simple's "What to Ask Your Caterer" List

Along with Miss Glen Echo, I am also a huge fan of Real Simple magazine, especially their wedding issues. I have a meeting on Monday with my caterer (The Purple Onion - ask for Bernadette, she's awesome!) and thought I should prepare myself by looking into what Real Simple thinks I should be sure to ask. Some of these questions were covered in our initial meeting, and some of them don't apply to our wedding, but I thought I'd share them with you all anyway since they're generally good advice. (image: Debra McClinton via RealSimple.com)

1. How will you handle last-minute requests? It happens to the most careful couples: A whole family who didn’t RSVP on time shows up anyway. Or the opposite: A handful of guests are MIA. Is your caterer prepared to adjust the food and the table setup accordingly?

• This is a great question for us because it's a near definite possibility that there will be a few unexpected guests at our wedding. Also you just never know, sometimes people have last-minute emergencies that keep them from attending.

2. Will you be there? You want the point person you’ve dealt with to be present from start to finish.

• I really love the woman I've been working with so I would be disappointed if she wasn't going to be there!

3. What’s your waitstaff-to-table ratio? The most elegant service is one or more servers per table. The fewer you have, the more erratic or slow the food service will be. Find out how many staff members are included in the per person cost and how much extra staff might cost.

• This isn't actually relevant for us because we're doing a buffet, we don't need as many staff per table. Also I've already got the staff requirements listed out from them, so I know exactly how many staff will be there.

4. What’s included in your per-person price? Is it just the food and beverages, with things like linens, waitstaff, and coat-room attendants separate?

• Again we've already worked this out with our caterer, I made sure to ask at the beginning for the full cost including the food/service/rentals/taxes/etc.

5. What’s the difference between a gratuity and a service charge? Many catering facilities tack on a service charge of 20 percent, and couples think that this covers the staff tips, but it doesn’t. It is often used to cover things like fuel costs, overhead, and wear and tear. You’ll probably have to bring a stash of cash to tip the staff. Most brides tip 15 to 20 percent of the total bill and give that amount, in cash, to the maître d’ or the wedding planner, who will then distribute it.

• Definitely good to know! Our caterer explained this to us, and advised us on the amount that is generally recommended for the gratuity - she also said the 15 - 20 percent rule, but she was sure to emphasize that it's dependent on the service we actually receive.

6. What happens to leftover food? Health-department rules vary, but most on-site caterers cannot allow food to be taken off the premises. If this is allowed, arrange for the food to be donated to a local soup kitchen or charity.

• Hadn't occurred to me to ask this! I would definitely like to arrange to have the food donated, if that's possible.

7. How often do you renovate your facility? You may fall in love with the decor of the room you book a year in advance. Are they at all likely to change the carpet? Replace the chandeliers you admired? Ask the venue to put it in writing that the decor won’t change.

• This isn't relevant to us for the caterer, since they are independent of the venue. Would be a good question to ask the venue - I don't think we have to worry about that, since it's a historic building they probably won't be changing it too much.

8. How often do you clean your facility? The venue should be cleaned every three to six months (otherwise the carpets will start to smell).

• Probably a good question to ask your venue, not something I would ever really bother asking. Unless there is something apparent when you view the space that seems unclean, to me it seems like you'd risk insulting the staff if you asked them something like that. Although certainly it is reasonable to want to be sure that the space will be clean for your wedding, alienating them from the beginning is not the best idea.

9. Can we tour the kitchen? A facility might look gorgeous enough to win you over, but any cracks in the organization or the cleanliness of a place will show in the kitchen.

• This is another one that is probably a great thing to do but didn't occur to me and I don't mind that I didn't ask. I suppose I still could ask to tour our caterer's kitchen but I know I don't feel like trekking out to Centreville just for that, and I trust them.

10. Have you worked at our location before? If you’re having the reception off-site, you’ll want to know how familiar your caterer is with the venue―and what he needs to know if he’s never been there. (How big is the kitchen? When can deliveries be dropped off?) Once you’ve settled on a caterer, put him or her in touch with the site’s manager so they can work out the details without using you as a middleman.

• This is definitely a good question, although I already know our caterer has worked at Old Town Hall before because she recommended the venue to me!

11. How does your staff dress? Find out if they will dress in a specific way if you ask them to―say, in Hawaiian shirts for a luau wedding.

• Great question - although we're not really doing a theme so I don't care what they wear, as long as it's professional looking (and clean!).

12. Can we see the banquet event order? This is a list of all the information the caterer has gone over with you about your party. It’s given to the person who orders the food; the chef who’ll cook the food; the person responsible for setting up the room at the venue; and the director of the waitstaff. Review the details carefully so you know that, say, your request to have a separate table for two is on the list.

• I will put this on my list to ask - I definitely want to make sure the venue, caterer and I are all on the same page about room set-ups, menu, time table, etc.

What do you think? Did they leave anything out? Are you all on the same page with your caterers?

Hello from...Miss National Mall?

"Miss Rockville" here! Only, I was apparently supposed to me "Miss National Mall" but never got the memo. Oops! So, I changed my name, but don't worry, it's still me. :)

Planning for a wedding without actually having money is well...difficult. Due to the fact that I just graduated, I currently do not have a job. Looking, definitely looking, but nothing has come up yet. So until I get a job (or someone decides they want to give a generous contribution to our wedding fund), planning is pretty much at a halt. However, since I've been engaged for THREE FREAKIN YEARS now, I pretty much have all of the inspiration, ideas, and lists of vendors that I want to look at. So at least there shouldn't be much research involved.

First on the list (besides my long venue search) is catering. Mr. National Mall does not like fancy food. If I would allow him to serve McDonald's at our wedding he would. Seriously. Add to the fact that our budget for the venue/catering/rentals is $10,000, we can't afford to spend $100/person on filet mignon and lobster, even if Mr. Natioanl Mall did want it. So we've decided to opt for interactive stations. I think it will make for a fun and casual experience. Plus, who doesn't love fajitas and a macaroni and cheese bar? ;-) I've gotten a few proposals from companies that are a little shocking though. $80/pp for fajitas and a carving station? Really?? I might just have to deal with the fact that the DC area is just ridiculously expensive and buckle down and pay for it. But do I want to?? Noooooo way.

How did you deal with the sticker shock of the DC area prices?

Virginia venues and caterers

Being engaged is pretty awesome. I mean I'm excited for the life we're going to make together, I know it's the marriage that's important, not so much the wedding.

But right now.. I'm enjoying myself. I mean you do get So Much unsolicited advice, and then there's so much self-inflicted sensory overload with all the wedding porn out there, it can be kind of overwhelming (having said that I definitely have no plans to stop reading these blogs). But every time someone notices the ring, or it comes up in conversation some other way (I've grown really fond of being able to say "my fiance blah blah blah"), I always get really warm and sincere congrats and wishes for our happiness and I have to say, it feels good. Not that I was ever really concerned about "public opinion," but I was getting a Little tired of the "why would he buy the cow when he's getting the milk for free" type of comments about our relationship. Also there's just so much joy surrounding weddings! I'm happy to be at the center of it for this short period of time.

Anyway! I was going to share some research with you. If you're looking in the DC area for non-traditional venues (no hotels, no churches), here are some venues I discovered that you might like:

Arlington

Hendry House at Fort C.F. Smith (the venue of the previous Miss Fairfax!) - very good for outdoor weddings or fairly small gatherings (50 - 60 would be a good number if you want to be inside, up to 150 with a tent outside). Very economical at $2,000 for 5 hours. Unfortunately since our wedding is in March, we needed more space inside.

Arlington Cinema & Drafthouse - now here's a non-traditional venue for you. It's a great little dinner theater, seems like a great place if you're going very informal and fun. Think of the slideshows! I'm pretty sure there's no site fee, you just need to meet a minimum on food & beverage (I think like $2,500).

Falls Church

State Theatre - have your name on the marquee! That's what I got excited about. Would be great for a 40's movie star type wedding. For a Saturday night affair you need to meet a food & beverage minimum of (I think) $12K. In the end it was just too big for us, but I would just love to hear about a real wedding there, I think it would be fabulous.

OK I think I'm getting carried away here. I have info on a ton of venues (including a sweet little non-denominational wedding chapel in Annandale), please feel free to leave questions in the comments section!

The caterer we picked was The Purple Onion Catering Company, based in Centreville. Bernadette is my contact there and she is just wonderful to work with. Unfortunately I didn't have my camera at the tasting so I can't share any food porn! But it was delicious, and reasonably priced, and they were (literally) the only caterers I contacted who gave me All the costs up front the first time I asked. Everyone else would give me the per person cost but not include things like staff, equipment, taxes, etc. So Frustrating! I'll have to report back after the wedding, but so far I highly recommend the Purple Onion.

Checking Vendor References

Dilbert by Scott Adams via www.stangbangers.com

When I read Miss Cream Puff's post over on Weddingbee the other day about having to break-up with her photographer, I let out a little sigh of relief that I've been checking vendor references all along.

There are scads of articles, threads, posts, etc. out there in wedding-planning-land with great suggestions on what to ask when interviewing potential vendors. I've been using the "What to Ask" Printable Checklists on Real Simple Weddings and they're an excellent guide. However, I haven't seem many resources for collecting references for vendors.

My thought is, in the regular working world you wouldn't hire someone to work for you without checking their references first, so why hire a vendor without checking references?

Thus far, Mr. Fairfax and I have our venue, caterer and photographer contracted and I've checked (or attempted to check) references for each one. Most wedding professionals should be able to provide you with a list of 2-3 couples they have worked with who are willing to act as references. One caveat, the Mr. and I did find in our brief experience that if a venue "moonlights" as a wedding reception hall (i.e. if your venue is really a historic home, that does weddings versus a wedding venue that happens to be a historic home), they are less likely to have references available. But hey, you've always got the The Knot and Wedding Wire to do a very informal check.

I've listed a couple of my standard reference questions below that are generic enough to apply to most vendors.

• How many people did you have at your wedding and what type (indoor, outdoor, formal, casual, etc) of ceremony and reception did you have?

• Who else did you consider and what made you choose [vendor]?

• How was communicating with [vendor]? Did you feel that they were responsive to your e-mails/calls? Was the level of responsiveness consistent throughout the time leading up to your wedding? What about after the wedding?
  

• How flexible/open was [vendor] to changes in your contract once the contract was signed?

• Were there any charges on your bill that came as a surprise or were added at the last minute?

• How would you rate the [vendor's] professionalism, level of service, etc.?

• How would you rate [vendor's] cooperation with your other vendors? Did they facilitate coordination and help everything run smoothly? Were they problematic for your other vendors?

• What do you wish you had discussed with [vendor] prior to the wedding that you did not?

• In hindsight is there anything you would have done differently? Picked another [vendor]? Stipulated a few specific items in the contract, etc?

AND THE MILLION DOLLAR REFERENCE QUESTION:

• If your best friend were getting married, would you recommend [vendor] to her? Would you have any hesitation or reservations about recommending [vendor]?

For us, these questions accomplished a two big things: 1) We knew we would feel more confident about our vendor choices if we got solid references. A reference check can help avoid situations like poor Miss Cream Puff's. 2) We would know our vendors better. Generic example of #2: one reference I got for a vendor mentioned the vendor is MUCH more responsive to phone calls than e-mail. Had I decided to use that vendor I would have been a savvy consumer armed with information about my vendor, rather than a frazzled bride who can't figure out why my vendor won't respond quickly to my e-mails!

I have other caterer/photographer/venue specific questions I'm happy to share if you shoot me an e-mail at fairfaxmiss@gmail.com.

Did you do a reference check on your vendors? What questions did you ask?