Real Simple's "What to Ask Your Caterer" List

Along with Miss Glen Echo, I am also a huge fan of Real Simple magazine, especially their wedding issues. I have a meeting on Monday with my caterer (The Purple Onion - ask for Bernadette, she's awesome!) and thought I should prepare myself by looking into what Real Simple thinks I should be sure to ask. Some of these questions were covered in our initial meeting, and some of them don't apply to our wedding, but I thought I'd share them with you all anyway since they're generally good advice. (image: Debra McClinton via RealSimple.com)

1. How will you handle last-minute requests? It happens to the most careful couples: A whole family who didn’t RSVP on time shows up anyway. Or the opposite: A handful of guests are MIA. Is your caterer prepared to adjust the food and the table setup accordingly?

• This is a great question for us because it's a near definite possibility that there will be a few unexpected guests at our wedding. Also you just never know, sometimes people have last-minute emergencies that keep them from attending.

2. Will you be there? You want the point person you’ve dealt with to be present from start to finish.

• I really love the woman I've been working with so I would be disappointed if she wasn't going to be there!

3. What’s your waitstaff-to-table ratio? The most elegant service is one or more servers per table. The fewer you have, the more erratic or slow the food service will be. Find out how many staff members are included in the per person cost and how much extra staff might cost.

• This isn't actually relevant for us because we're doing a buffet, we don't need as many staff per table. Also I've already got the staff requirements listed out from them, so I know exactly how many staff will be there.

4. What’s included in your per-person price? Is it just the food and beverages, with things like linens, waitstaff, and coat-room attendants separate?

• Again we've already worked this out with our caterer, I made sure to ask at the beginning for the full cost including the food/service/rentals/taxes/etc.

5. What’s the difference between a gratuity and a service charge? Many catering facilities tack on a service charge of 20 percent, and couples think that this covers the staff tips, but it doesn’t. It is often used to cover things like fuel costs, overhead, and wear and tear. You’ll probably have to bring a stash of cash to tip the staff. Most brides tip 15 to 20 percent of the total bill and give that amount, in cash, to the maître d’ or the wedding planner, who will then distribute it.

• Definitely good to know! Our caterer explained this to us, and advised us on the amount that is generally recommended for the gratuity - she also said the 15 - 20 percent rule, but she was sure to emphasize that it's dependent on the service we actually receive.

6. What happens to leftover food? Health-department rules vary, but most on-site caterers cannot allow food to be taken off the premises. If this is allowed, arrange for the food to be donated to a local soup kitchen or charity.

• Hadn't occurred to me to ask this! I would definitely like to arrange to have the food donated, if that's possible.

7. How often do you renovate your facility? You may fall in love with the decor of the room you book a year in advance. Are they at all likely to change the carpet? Replace the chandeliers you admired? Ask the venue to put it in writing that the decor won’t change.

• This isn't relevant to us for the caterer, since they are independent of the venue. Would be a good question to ask the venue - I don't think we have to worry about that, since it's a historic building they probably won't be changing it too much.

8. How often do you clean your facility? The venue should be cleaned every three to six months (otherwise the carpets will start to smell).

• Probably a good question to ask your venue, not something I would ever really bother asking. Unless there is something apparent when you view the space that seems unclean, to me it seems like you'd risk insulting the staff if you asked them something like that. Although certainly it is reasonable to want to be sure that the space will be clean for your wedding, alienating them from the beginning is not the best idea.

9. Can we tour the kitchen? A facility might look gorgeous enough to win you over, but any cracks in the organization or the cleanliness of a place will show in the kitchen.

• This is another one that is probably a great thing to do but didn't occur to me and I don't mind that I didn't ask. I suppose I still could ask to tour our caterer's kitchen but I know I don't feel like trekking out to Centreville just for that, and I trust them.

10. Have you worked at our location before? If you’re having the reception off-site, you’ll want to know how familiar your caterer is with the venue―and what he needs to know if he’s never been there. (How big is the kitchen? When can deliveries be dropped off?) Once you’ve settled on a caterer, put him or her in touch with the site’s manager so they can work out the details without using you as a middleman.

• This is definitely a good question, although I already know our caterer has worked at Old Town Hall before because she recommended the venue to me!

11. How does your staff dress? Find out if they will dress in a specific way if you ask them to―say, in Hawaiian shirts for a luau wedding.

• Great question - although we're not really doing a theme so I don't care what they wear, as long as it's professional looking (and clean!).

12. Can we see the banquet event order? This is a list of all the information the caterer has gone over with you about your party. It’s given to the person who orders the food; the chef who’ll cook the food; the person responsible for setting up the room at the venue; and the director of the waitstaff. Review the details carefully so you know that, say, your request to have a separate table for two is on the list.

• I will put this on my list to ask - I definitely want to make sure the venue, caterer and I are all on the same page about room set-ups, menu, time table, etc.

What do you think? Did they leave anything out? Are you all on the same page with your caterers?

100 DAYS!!!!

Yes, that is right! We have only 100 days left before our wedding and I am suprisingly pretty calm. Being ahead of the game and being engaged for so long has allowed me to do all of my planning ahead of time. The great thing is that the mental space most brides reserve for freaking out at the 3 month mark, I have reserved for stressing out about my job and working with my moot court team.

Although, I basically have everything done, there are a few projects I do need to work on in the next few weeks to make sure I STAY ahead of the game. I always refer back to my favorite checklist from Real Simple to make sure I am up to date on what should be done during this time. Here is what they suggest:

Three Months Before
Finalize the menu and flowers. You’ll want to wait until now to see what will be available, since food and flowers are affected by season.

-Send florist an email just the other day...see, I am TOTALLY on top of things ;-D

-The menu has been finalized for a while now, but I should follow up with the caterer regarding booze...

Order favors, if desired. Some safe bets: monogrammed cookies or a treat that represents your city or region. If you’re planning to have welcome baskets for out-of-town guests, plan those now too.

-out of town baskets...OH CRAP! *adding to Google calender "work on out of town baskets*

Make a list of the people giving toasts. Which loved ones would you like to have speak at the reception? Ask them now.

-Done...but I should remind them

Finalize the readings. Determine what you would like to have read at the ceremony—and whom you wish to do the readings.

-Done! She just mentioned that she is working on that right now

Purchase your undergarments. And schedule your second fitting.

-Done! First fitting with Angie is scheduled for Jan. 8th (Woo Hoo!)

-I got THE BEST undergarment in the world to hold in my three stomachs, lol, check it out!

Finalize the order of the ceremony and the reception.

-Semi-done...the programs are done and there is a tentative draft for the reception timeline, but that depends on the band and their breaks, which I have not confirmed with them yet...so this remains open...

Print menu cards, if you like, as well as programs. No need to go to a printer, if that’s not in your budget: You can easily create these on your computer.

-Done with the programs! I plan to do this for the menu (so cute!)

Purchase the rings. This will give you time for resizing and engraving.

-Well...we have my ring...Mr. Glen Echo cannot decide on what type of ring he wants. Hopefully, tomorrow evening when we go ring shopping for him, we will have that all figured out and I can get this also checked off our list.

Send your event schedule to the vendors. Giving them a first draft now allows ample time for tweaks and feedback.

-Ok...this is a big one! In a few days, my plan is to draft a final vendor list that will give me all my vendors in one place. At that point, I will just go down the list and check off which each one as I contact them and confirm times. That seems to me to be the easiest way to do it. Does anyone have any other suggestions on this?

In addition to all of the items listed above that I need to work on, I am also working my escort cards and a few other DIY projects. I found this lovely idea that I plan to do during "FUN FUN DIY DAY" with my bridal attendants in January. I also am using this idea for my escort cards. They are mini-envelopes that you make beforehand and then just add an insert with the table number once you have the seat placements all figured out. TOTAL GENIUS! This means that I can do the escort cards BEFORE I have my RSVP info :-O

Are you ladies ahead or behind the game? Any tips for getting getting through the next 3 months?

6 Months and Counting...

Life has been kind of hectic the past couple of weeks (hence my lack of posting...sorry guys). My car decided to stop working properly and I spent all day Saturday learning about "negative equity" and how shady car salesmen are. Mr. Glen Echo and I did eventually find a car salesman who is not shady and a genuinely nice guy. We got a brand new car (with a brand new car payment...yeesh!) and we are totally excited about that.

With the car and the new payment, Mr. Glen Echo and I decided to take stock of where we are budget and planning wise. According to our budget, our tax return should take care of the rest of the wedding costs, which is quite awesome! As far as planning...being engaged for a year to date, we have been able to get a ton of things done early. According to Real Simple, these are the tasks we should be working on during the 6-4 month interval:

Seven to Six Months Before
Select and purchase invitations. Hire a calligrapher, if desired.

-Done! No calligrapher...but I found a fantastic calligraphy font from dafont.com that did the trick. I printed the envelopes off my printer and our actual invitations should arrive in approximately 2 weeks (I cannot wait!!!)
Start planning a honeymoon. Make sure that your passports are up-to-date, and schedule doctors’ appointments for any shots you may need.

-Pending...future in-laws are handling this for us and we recently just came across a hick-up with booking our trip...but they will take care of that and I am sure our honeymoon will be awesome!
Shop for bridesmaids’ dresses. Allow at least six months for the dresses to be ordered and sized.

-Done...for the most part. All but 2 bridesmaids have ordered their gowns, but both have picked them out and it's just a matter of ordering the gowns.

Meet with the officiant. Map out the ceremony and confirm that you have all the official documents for the wedding (these vary by county and religion).

-Hmm...this is the area of planning that we have not done well. We do have a meeting tomorrow, so hopefully this will be hashed out.
Send save-the-date cards.

-Done!
Reserve structural and electrical necessities. Book portable toilets for outdoor events, extra chairs if you need them, lighting components, and so on.

-No need...so I guess this would be a check!
Book a florist. Florists can serve multiple clients on one day, which is why you can wait a little longer to engage one. Plus, at this point, you’ll be firm on what your wedding palette will be.

-Done! Post soon to come about our florist and flowers...one of the vendors we booked early on because I am OBSESSED with flowers!
Arrange transportation. Consider limos, minibuses, trolleys, and town cars. (But know that low-to-the-ground limos can make entries and exists dicey if you’re wearing a fitted gown.)

-Done! Reserved the 24 passenger van for myself and my gigantic wedding party last week with ING Limo
Start composing a day-of timeline. Draw up a schedule of the event and slot in each component (the cake-cutting, the first dance).

-Done! Did this for purposes of catering contract and it has really helped to figure out exactly what I need to get and do in the next couple of months. I do, however, need to work on a day of timeline for the entire day...but my day of coordinator will work on that with me.

Five to Four Months Before
Book the rehearsal and rehearsal-dinner venues. Negotiate the cost and the menu. If you’re planning to host a day-after brunch for guests, book that place as well.

-Done! Thanks future in-laws!

Check on the wedding invitations. Ask the stationer for samples of the finished invitations and revise them to suit your needs.

-Too early to hound her on these...

Select and order the cake. Some bakers require a long lead time. Attend several tastings before committing to any baker.

-Done! Using the fantastic Margie of Artistic Cake Creations...good taste and great price!
Send your guest list to the host of your shower. Provided you, ahem, know about the shower.

-Done!

Purchase wedding shoes and start dress fittings. Bring the shoes along to your first fitting so the tailor can choose the appropriate length for your gown.

-Done! First fitting with Angie is in January!

Schedule hair and makeup artists. Make a few appointments with local experts to try them out. Snap a photo at each so you can compare results.

-Trial is scheduled for next weekend!

Choose your music. What should be playing when the wedding party is announced? During dinner? To kick off the dancing? Keep a running list of what you want—and do not want—played.

-Done! My cousin is working on learning the music and finding someone to accompany him for the ceremony. We have booked our band and will get with them 3 months before to pick out songs.

So it looks like we are on track, with a few minor things pending. How about the rest of you lovely ladies? Are you guys on track?

Introducing Mr. and Miss GWU

Greetings NearlyWeds!!!

I recently became engaged on May 15th, which also happened to be my graduation day from GW. However, this is not the reason for our pseudonyms :P. While we live in DC now, Mr. and Miss GWU originally started out in New Jersey. Coming down to DC for college, I met Mr. GWU my sophomore year of undergrad. He had already graduated. Mr. GWU's younger brother introduced us to each other one low key Friday night and you could say it was butterflies at first sight. From there, we went on to date for 4 years, which brings us to here and now. The engagement was beautiful. He surprised me with dinner at Charlie Palmer Steakhouse. The meal was delicious and I had to say, the entire night I was gradually getting more and more suspicious as the serving staff continued to dote on us throughout the night. You name it: complimentary dishes, personal escort to the little girls' room, visits from the general manager - it was there and it was fishy! At the end of our meal, the manager came over and offered to take us up to the rooftop. We rode up 11 flights of stairs and emerged onto a beautiful roof terrace overlooking the Capitol, the Potomac, and just miles and miles of gorgeous DC on a toasty, spring night. The backdrop was all there. Then, Mr. GWU dropped down on one knee and asked me to marry him. Of course, the answer was a great big teary-eyed YES!

So now, we are wading into wedding planning waters. I have my Knot subscription and Real Simple Wedding Guide ready to go. Fortunately, Mr. GWU is a true partner in this process and contacted over 40 venues thus far to look at proposals and photos. Once I finish a few lingering graduate class credits, we will have more time to go visit these venues. Ideally, we are looking at early summer (June or July) most likely in Northern Virginia. DC tax is no joke. But who knows? If a venue in DC is simply "the one," we might be willing to eat ramen for a year to save enough. Stay tuned :)

I Just Love a Good Checklist

I was on the Real Simple website this evening looking for instructions on making a ribbon caddy from an oatmeal container.



Somehow the search phrase I used brought up the baby shower checklist. Weird, but then I thought, hmm, I wonder if they have a bridal shower checklist. They do! Ohhhh!

I love Real Simple's checklists! If you haven't picked up a copy of the Real Simple Weddings Guide with all it's great checklists and lists of questions to ask vendors, do so immediately. You'll thank me later (you're welcome).

Yes, it's $13.95, but I'm telling you this is the greatest wedding mag ever. I bought the 2008 edition and have probably only purchased 3 other bridal mags in addition to this. The tips are great, the checklists are awesome, and it's SO practical. LOVE IT.

The Bridal Shower check list is great! Whether you are a MoH, a Mom, or a best friend, this is an excellent guide for throwing a great par-tay. You're sure to be the hostess with the mostess if you follow this. I book-marked this on my own computer and I plan to print it out and add it to my stash o' wedding stuff. I obviously won't be throwing my own shower, but hopefully I have a chance to throw a few in the future, and I know I'll want this to make sure I don't forget anything!

Ohh...there's a honeymoon planning checklist too...